Sunday, June 5, 2016

The Direction This Blog is Going


It's been a long time since I've made a post like this (or made a post at all, really), and I figured I owe it to anyone who actually reads this to give you some insight into why things are they way they are. To be fair, though, I really doubt anyone more than the few people I've managed to rope in on Facebook actually take a glance at this place, and I'm probably screaming into an echo chamber, haha.


I started this blog to give myself an excuse to actually WATCH all that anime I was collecting. I didn't have a job and had just been forced to leave college, so I had a lot of time on my hands and wanted to do something with it. I don't come from a happy household, and due to a lifetime of being made to feel like a sack of shit, I wanted to at least be doing something 'productive', as my dad would so often say.


November of 2012 I can't even remember if I was living at home or at my grandparents; my grandmother had died in August of that year, and while I still TECHNICALLY lived with my parents (on paper, still do despite being out of the house), I had jumped ship to live at my grandparents' house since my mother was there and I couldn't stand being around my dad anymore. I holed up in the parlor (barely used, it was a couch to sleep on) and mum and I stayed at that house for a few months while she got over her mother's death and helped out around the house to get my grandpa acclimated to living without her. I had been housekeeping for them for years already, so it was pretty easy. (For those wondering, my grandpa is extremely resilient---they were always social folks and helped out in the community, and he still does, giving people rides to the doctor, playing scrabble at the senior centre and joining in the local golf league. Pretty sure he cooks more than my mom does now.)


I needed to show that I was doing SOMETHING with my time, and watching anime then writing about it was a way to show that at least I had SOMETHING, ANYTHING going on. Mum and I moved back to my parents' place around late winter/early spring of 2013, and I had continued housekeeping there. I was also volunteering with anime clubs around this time (still do), so I had a few irons in the fire to show that I wasn't a COMPLETE hikikomori. Eventually, though, it wasn't enough (of course, lol), so in addition to looking back into college, I got a job and at the same time, a boyfriend, in September of 2014. My time eventually dried up, since by this point I had 2 jobs, a boyfriend, and was still volunteering.

By December of that year, though, I was let go from my job and depression reared its ugly head again. It took me 8 months to find a job again, and during that entire time I was juggling avoiding my father as much as possible (it didn't help matters that by this time he had injured himself bad enough to be forced to retire from his self-employment and take a retail job, so he was in pain AND angry over his job), looking for work, going to the local government offices to apply for state insurance and maintain my relationship with my boyfriend. By that August I ended up moving out of the house and into my boyfriend's parents' place (we live in an outbuilding, thankfully), and one of the places I volunteered at hired me on as a paid employee. So while things looked up, my time dried up again, and combined with the depression it became too much of an effort to keep on a continued schedule of watching and reviewing things. (One 12-episode series in a regular format is 6 hours of content, did you realize that!?)

At present I can't and won't make any promises that this little corner of the internet is coming fully out of retirement, but at least it's alive, just dormant. Stick around if you can, since there will be new content, just at a slower, less consistent pace. Roxy's still around and I've encouraged her to review things as well, and I'm trying to fulfill a New Year's resolution by studying Korean, so there may even be some Korean Dramas or shows in here, who knows.

Through this entire post, and the history of this blog, thanks if you've stuck around (I understand if you haven't, haha). It makes me so excited to see the pageviews on each post, and even moreso when I see that some of them come from all over the world. It means a lot. It also makes me think about how, if people are actually reading this, I should make some more stuff for it. It's encouraging. So thanks.

(If it's no trouble, leave a comment, even just a hi, or a :), or a single letter. Means I'm not writing this to myself, haha.


-KK

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